Think of this (short but important) meeting as a relationship-creating opportunity. Use intentionality. Start off by sharing a bit about yourself, ask about the parents. Share a few wonderful observations about their child. Build a connection. This will set a positive tone for the meeting and create the kind of conversation that will yield benefits throughout the year.
Be the expert, but listen to parental concerns. Parents expect you to be adept at teaching, but they want to feel that you value their input too. Not focusing only on the child’s weaknesses, but also their strengths, can help parents feel like you know and care about their child.
Don’t start with the negative. Don’t begin the conversation with “I have no concerns”—that starts the exchange in deficit mode. Instead, start with a simple, plain-language description of the three things you hope the students learn by being in your class.
Emphasize your goals. Giving a syllabus or written materials is great, but talking clearly, even passionately, about your goals for the class is better. Talk about what you hope to accomplish during the semester with excitement, and you’ll be amazed at how the parents become your partners in learning.
Provide feedback—both good and bad. Give them the feedback you need to provide, such as a review of grades and assignments. But if you feel it’s necessary to point out a deficit, find a way to do it with understanding, and try also to point out a strength.
Before they leave, ask one last question. This is one of the most important ways a parent can see that you really notice and care about their child and are seeking to develop a positive relationship with them; that they are more than just one among many. Something such as “What do you think I should know about your son or daughter to help him or her thrive in my class?” works. Or something more specific, such as “Tell me about your child’s sparks,” or perhaps their strengths, struggles, or “How might I be able to help your child navigate these challenging times, or give him or her extra support?”
Take notes on what you learn. Integrate what you learn from the parent into your interactions with the student, and return to your notes at your next parent-teacher conference.
Remember it’s about the relationship! Parents want to know their child is seen and cared for and that you are paying attention to the insights they are sharing with you about their child. They want to feel like they have built a connection with you. They—and you!—want to build on that connection next time you meet.
